Here we are stepping into 2010 with the rest of you, filled with aspirations and the hope for the future. (Again, I assume, like the rest of you).
Before we get back into the swing of things discussing more of the details and secrets behind Moira's Lake, I thought it would be fitting to look back at 2009 and see how far we've come (that is, if we've come far at all).
THE TRIALS
The journey to release Moira's lake has been one of the more arduous, bloated and dramatic quests of my entire life.
The album became increasingly complicated as time went on, not only in regards to the music itself, but in how it would have to be executed and put together.
What was once supposed to be released in 2006, got moved to 2007. When I could not complete it in 2007, it got pushed yet again to 2008.
At times it was almost too daunting.
It felt like this album would never see the light of day.
Over the course of working on Moira, I, and each member of Envinity, thought about quitting entirely.
It's true.
There we're a few moments where things almost came to a complete blow out, members almost got fired, and another event where everyone decided to mutiny.
Trying times for sure. And stories to be shared in future blogs and podcasts.
Moira's Lake has seen us all through some of the most turbulent, depressing, aggravating, and life-changing events in our existence.
In some ways, it's amazing that the album ever got finished in the first place.
And yet, somehow she lives (well technically....).
THE TRIUMPHS
For all of our struggles to release this crazy album, there have been plenty of triumphs as well.
For me, just getting Moira's Lake finished is a wonderful accomplishment.
As I've said, it's something that really has haunted me for the last five years, and there were times when it felt like it would never come to fruition.
As of this writing, we have just now surpassed 500 downloads of the album!
This is quite a triumph when you take into consideration that we are virtually a no name band, with no money for promotion, and no label to help us out. Thank you to everyone who has given Moira's Lake a chance!
What's even more striking is the fact that I'm not even sure if I've sold 500 copies of the previous albums. (One look at the boxes worth of Sweet Painful Reality and Empyreal Progeny piled in my closet will attest to that).
After putting Moira's Lake out into the world, we have been lucky enough to hear from many seemingly-like-minded people who have been positively affected by the music and art of the experience. And as I've said before in the podcasts, one of my main goals is to be able to affect people emotionally with my art.
Well, check and mark then.
Another triumph comes from the way the album seems to hit people: namely, over time. Many fan's reactions fall into a similar category:
Most seem to be unsure of Moira the first time they hear it, since it is quite different than what we've done previously. But upon giving it a few more spins, we begin to get emails and comments telling us how much these same people have begun to discover the emotions of the album and have fallen in love with it.
And lastly, it is a triumph that my friends and musicians have even stuck with me through all of this. I am by no means the easiest person to work with when it comes to a creative project, and I know that. Though I nearly lost them all, strangely, they're still here, and what's more odd is that they want to do it again! (Suckas!)
I owe much to their hard work and struggles over the last few years, as without them, there would be no Moira's Lake.
LOOKING BACK
In hindsight, even though I have trouble appreciating my own accomplishments, I do see 2009 as a success.
I have created and released a project that I am very proud of, and even better, an experience that has been gradually affecting the hearts and minds of many others.
I found ways to circumnavigate my personal and financial obstacles, and get this overwhelming thing finished.
In the process I learned more about who I am and what I want, than I did at any other point in time of my life. Valuable lessons that I can, hopefully, apply in the future, not only to my creative projects, but to my life in general.
We always want more than we have, and I am no exception.
Could we have done more?
Of course.
The answer is always yes.
But we've accomplished much more than I originally anticipated, and I'm learning to appreciate that. (Maybe).
LOOKING FORWARD
As 2010 begins, I feel like we've only gotten started.
(Probably because we only just started. Makes sense eh?).
I have many ideas up my proverbial sleeve for this year, and I'm still determined to make more of Moira's Lake than I ever had for my previous albums. (Which I hardly did jack shit for).
As I've mentioned many times now, my new focus is now on content, communication, and interactivity.
Very soon, I'm going to push into the details of Moira's Lake with a series of articles revealing the mysteries of the story, and eventually, explaining the music itself.
We'll be continuing with our new podcast series, discussing the music scene, the creative process, and why we do what we do.
We will be creating new content for the website, and the store, in the form of new multimedia downloads, and out of print demos. Obviously, I can't be too detailed about anything at the moment, sorry.
Overall, I have many plans for Envinity in the coming year, but I'm also trying to remain grounded and realistic about what is really possible, as being realistic was the only thing that made it possible to get the whole thing done in the first place.
Thanks again for all of the support so far, it's really made all of the difference. I hope you can make 2010 a more productive year for yourselves as well.
Best of luck to us both.
-Niko
ERIC'S THOUGHTS
What could I say about 2009 looking back? Well, the older you get the more you see the world for what it is.......complex. I have never been so confused last year! In retrospect, this past year has shown so many opportunities, so many paths. 2009 has been the second epic revelation period since I was 19 years old. I think about all the musical projects I have been gifted with and the opportunities I was faced with, and let go of.
In reflection to Moira's Lake, it seems I am on unfamiliar ground. On the one hand I told myself when I could play that record I was at a level musically equal to that of dreams. Now that I am to the plateau on my accomplishments it seems so normal. How can I sum up 2009? Growth. As the economy sank into a deeper recession, I grew as a person, a mind, a composer, a drummer, a musician, a lover, a hater, a friend and a griever. As for 2010? I feel a great many things for me and my musical journeys. I hope to have everything from the seeds I planted grown.
A gigantic piece of me is in Envinity and the friends and fellow musicians I am surrounded by in it. I feel I have graduated "the School of Niko", and I am ready for the next step. (The School of Niko is my way of conveying the insurmountable wealth of knowledge about myself and music I learned from Niko, Brian and John). I want this album to be what I dreamed it to be. I cannot wait to see the triumphs over 2010. ( a little optimistic considering how pessimistic I am). I see the other musical, theatrical projects and educational endeavors I have planned, going through. I see the monetary struggle I have be so blessed with capping off. I have an amazing girl, amazing musical projects and amazing friends to get me through the new year.....Amen America
JOHN'S THOUGHTS
Well you're in for something short and probably not sweet at all. 2009 was fucking hell. I worked two jobs trying to get my guitar school off the ground. Creative projects were all on hold. I hadn't done anything personal with music in well over a year. At the very end of 2009 I finally quit my day job and am now working a guitar teacher only. It's wonderful. I've achieved my dream of being a professional musican. Sure, I'm not playing on stage, but I'm teaching music, and it's great.
2009 for Envinity on my end involved lots and lots and lots and lots of waiting. I didn't do jack shit except for making some comments on the millions of passes Niko presented us. I did, however, get very emotional during the night of our release.
As far as 2010 goes regarding good ol' Envinity, I have no idea what will happen. When Niko is able to finally have me on a podcast I will be chittering into a mic. Other than that, I suppose I'll wait and see if I will be asked to help work on the 4th record.
Personally I don't like looking at what happened this year, what will happen next year, etc. I think it's pointless and silly. In my LIFE I will be accomplishing a TON of music goals that I did not have time for but now do. Top priority is to finally finish learning a song for Bleeding Mirror and get that damn thing recorded. It's by far the hardest damn thing I've ever attempted to learn. It's taken me 3 years of off and on practice and learning to ALMOST have it down all the way. It's a tech death masterpiece.
BRYAN'S THOUGHTS
2009 was a year of understanding my self-identity while reexaminating my vices and passions thus reaffirming old philosophies.
I began the year in a way that I've grown accustomed to, you see the books I read have a way of finding me at that exact point in my life where I need them most. This particular year was started with Hermann Hesse's Steppenwolf, a novel that digs deep into how we view ourselves from within. I, like Harry Haller in the novel found myself being pulled in many directions and allowing certain traits to overpower one another leaving my attempt at a balance to often teeter from one side to another. This was mostly caused by my love affair with vodka and everything Russian, but that's another story. At about this same time of the year Envinity was dealing with similar issues. The four of us had been meeting off and on discussing what seemed to be the same topic over and over in attempt to get each of us on the same page. We would often joke how we were all in the same area of the library but reading completely different books, finally we all found that “one” book and were able to fully understand one another and our purpose in the band, or what was changing from a band to an experiential phenomenon. Much of what we discussed pertained to that ever-philosophical question asking, "who are we". In regards to the band we hand to understand not only "how" we need to accomplish our goals, but more importantly "why" we even want to attempt such goals and also understand where these goals came from in the first place. So again and again that question of "why" became more prevalent and was now starting to take on a whole new meaning. During these long talks it was apparent that we as band had been going in the wrong direction, we could see all these other bands around us making the same mistakes we'd made and it was obvious that a drastic change was needed. Often I used my other band Fell as an experiment with the potential failures that arise from going the “traditional” route. So after much thought and discussion we were, as a band, able to fully appreciate who and what Envinity is, was and will become.
For me personally, once a new idea is truly grasped I then attempt to utilize this idea in every aspect of my life. So now I caught myself relating this idea to my marital life, my work life, ect. Part of this new way of thinking was how we to put an emphasis on being realistic. In the past it was so easy to come up with one new goal after another but they rarely if not almost never came to fruition. A lot of this had to do with being unrealistic. So from here goals were only attempted if, and only if, a realistic answer was given. For example, this band had aspirations of releasing Moira's Lake in ways that at the time seemed amazing but after much contemplation we saw that we were missing too many resources. I had always been a pessimistic person and often my realistic views would shoot down ideas before they ever saw the light of day, but for some reason I along with the rest of the band never applied this manner of thinking to the band. We dreamed of elaborate concerts, theatrical videos, and other such grand concoctions all, which in retrospect seem about as likely as me becoming a famous philosopher. So after much consideration I decided to remain on my chosen course and continue my life as a musician and I was ready to start out on a whole new journey but with a comfort I'd hadn't ever known.
I walked into the recording process of Moira's Lake scared out of my wits. I had been listening; memorizing and studying each and every bass note for months but had serious doubts about my ability to play this album. Moira’s Lake challenged me in every possible way. Mentally, physically, you name it. But my three band mates had enough confidence in me to allow me to give my best effort. Some songs seemed to prove easier to play than others but it was quickly obvious to both Niko and myself that my self-taught way of playing bass was going to lead to numerous conflicts. I like many bassists do not use a pick, but as a way of pulling off trem picking I merely use my hellishly quick forefinger. But even though the speed was there, the sound Niko was looking for often wasn’t. So I had to accept my limitations as bassist. Fortunately after playing and rehearsing these songs to death, while relearning how to listen to my instrument, we had recorded something worth using. Once all the instrumental and vocal tracks were complete we somehow had an album. An album we thought, at one point in our lives, would be impossible to record. Life is all about overcoming and attempting such impossibilities. Our next nearly impossible endeavor will be our attempt to reach millions, one by one. And word-by-word and note-by-note we will all write that new chapter in this book we call our lives and begin to truly understand who we all are, and why at this point in our lives we have found each other.
From here I embark on a journey that can only be described as 2010. This year I, like Envinity, will experience the impossible for in June I will become a father, something my wife and I thought utterly impossible. But here we are, understanding and interpreting the world in an entirely new way. Beyond birthing my progeny this year I hope to experience art in ways I’ve neglected for decades. Before my years as a musician I shared an affinity with painting and drawing, so this year I hope to find time to set down the bass and pick up and paint brush or pencil. I also hope to read the books that have influenced those closest to me, as we are all affected by such different thoughts and occurrences and we can only come to understand one another by learning how we got to where we are. Beyond that I hope to continue to create music that distracts me from a world I’d like to often ignore. And like my dear Steppenwolf, I will endure and I will find balance.
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