Thirty.
Man. That sounds old.
I tell you, turning 30 brings with it a mixed bag of thoughts and feelings.
Perhaps it's simply the importance we place on big fat round numbers that makes it so strange for me. Anything divisible by 10 seems to feel important to us, for whatever reason. In reality it is no different than turning 23, 14, or 17 and 3/5ths. And yet...
...it feels different.
30 Is the New 20
You know, it wasn't that long ago that turning 20 was the same as turning 30 is today. Probably about 50 or so years perhaps.
Turning 20 at that time was the passage from teen to adult. From immaturity to professionalism. And that's how 30 is viewed today.
As we shed our "wild & crazy" 20s, we're supposed to accept 30 as the time to begin settling down, becoming more serious, and getting a career. Time to stop going by "Jimmy", and suddenly become "James".
In fact, most of the people in my age bracket are doing just that. They're married, some have children, almost all have some sort of traditional career, and they have houses. You know, real houses. With a mortgage payment and everything. Wow, how adult.
Well fuck that. I can't think of anything worse than that scenario, for me. Seeing that shit makes me shiver with disgust with a Billy Idol lip curl.
To quote Mr. Horse from Ren & Stimpy: "No sir, I don't like it".
Putting Away Childish Things
One major trait of people who have officially moved into adulthood, is that of seriousness. Perhaps things are changing these days, but it still lingers as an acceptable stigma. It's GOOD to be serious all the time. "James, stop joking around! This is serious! Act like an adult!"
Gone are the days of being spontaneous and silly. Of following your crazy, unattainable dreams. Of living against the grain. Of doing whatever the hell you want.
Not for me, lady and gentleman (yes, singular). Don't you worry. I'm still fighting that unwinable war everyday. The dreams of my childhood burn brighter than they have in years. And I have no intention of giving up. In fact, I'm fighting harder... and hopefully smarter... for them.
Long live the passion of the dreamers.
Hindsight Is 30/30
One thing that happens to many people on a big round number like this, is personal reflection. What have I done? What did I accomplish? What do I regret? What did I do that mattered? What would I do differently? And so on.
Indeed, I am no exception. Though I reflect like this at least once a day. Usually followed by intense sobbing and vomiting.
I've gone through plenty of shit in the last few years. Dramatic personal and professional changes that have reshaped the person I am now. And pretty drastically in some ways, I might add (and did).
Sure I've made plenty of mistakes. I've taken an uncommon approach to living my life, which has not won me any awards so far (but I'm nominated this year).
I've followed my heart and my dreams and managed to put out 3 albums that mean a great deal to me personally, each chronicling monumental periods of growth in my life. I've learned many new skills and abilities which I have yet to tap into, and have learned a great deal about who I am, what I want, and what matters to me. (Some say, the most important philosophical questions).
And I would not trade them for anything... accept a snap bracelet. (Does anyone still have one of those?)
To Envinity And Beyond
I like to look at it this way: my 20s were a time of drama and upheaval, where I learned about a million new things about myself and the world. But my 30s will be the time in which I finally make things happen. A time where I finally put together everything that I've learned and experienced to create something that really affects my life directly... and get this... in a GOOD way! (Yeah, I know! Crazy).
I actually look forward to this next decade, and have already begun implementing the first stages of my grandiose plans for personal glory and satisfaction. In essence, I'm going to be creating my own reality, in which I also create my own happiness and fulfillment. Neat eh?
We'll see how that goes. Obviously, if something shitty happens, it'll end up making another emotionally-laden, tragic album. (As usual).
The Big Three Oh
So, what will I do for my big three-oh birthday you ask?
Honestly, nothing much. As time moves on, I slowly let go of my attachment to holidays and rituals. Birthdays, like Christmas or Easter, has no real significance to me anymore. It's just a day. And yet...
...I still feel the social need for making my 30th birthday into some sort of event. Why? Because that's what everyone else does. Even though I'm not for holidays anymore, I still feel that lingering social pressure to do... "something". And I don't like that. Not one bit.
Which is why I'm not going to do anything.
Take that, unstated social expectations!
The Roaring 30s
And so, with mixed emotions, I ungracefully leave my 20s as of Saturday, February 19th.
Thirty.
Man. That sounds old.
But I don't feel old. I feel as childish as ever.
And I intend on staying that way.
-Niko
In fact, most of the people in my age bracket are doing just that. They're married, some have children, almost all have some sort of traditional career, and they have houses. You know, real houses. With a mortgage payment and everything. Wow, how adult.
Well fuck that. I can't think of anything worse than that scenario, for me. Seeing that shit makes me shiver with disgust with a Billy Idol lip curl.
To quote Mr. Horse from Ren & Stimpy: "No sir, I don't like it".
Putting Away Childish Things
One major trait of people who have officially moved into adulthood, is that of seriousness. Perhaps things are changing these days, but it still lingers as an acceptable stigma. It's GOOD to be serious all the time. "James, stop joking around! This is serious! Act like an adult!"
Gone are the days of being spontaneous and silly. Of following your crazy, unattainable dreams. Of living against the grain. Of doing whatever the hell you want.
Not for me, lady and gentleman (yes, singular). Don't you worry. I'm still fighting that unwinable war everyday. The dreams of my childhood burn brighter than they have in years. And I have no intention of giving up. In fact, I'm fighting harder... and hopefully smarter... for them.
Long live the passion of the dreamers.
Hindsight Is 30/30
One thing that happens to many people on a big round number like this, is personal reflection. What have I done? What did I accomplish? What do I regret? What did I do that mattered? What would I do differently? And so on.
Indeed, I am no exception. Though I reflect like this at least once a day. Usually followed by intense sobbing and vomiting.
I've gone through plenty of shit in the last few years. Dramatic personal and professional changes that have reshaped the person I am now. And pretty drastically in some ways, I might add (and did).
Sure I've made plenty of mistakes. I've taken an uncommon approach to living my life, which has not won me any awards so far (but I'm nominated this year).
I've followed my heart and my dreams and managed to put out 3 albums that mean a great deal to me personally, each chronicling monumental periods of growth in my life. I've learned many new skills and abilities which I have yet to tap into, and have learned a great deal about who I am, what I want, and what matters to me. (Some say, the most important philosophical questions).
And I would not trade them for anything... accept a snap bracelet. (Does anyone still have one of those?)
To Envinity And Beyond
I like to look at it this way: my 20s were a time of drama and upheaval, where I learned about a million new things about myself and the world. But my 30s will be the time in which I finally make things happen. A time where I finally put together everything that I've learned and experienced to create something that really affects my life directly... and get this... in a GOOD way! (Yeah, I know! Crazy).
I actually look forward to this next decade, and have already begun implementing the first stages of my grandiose plans for personal glory and satisfaction. In essence, I'm going to be creating my own reality, in which I also create my own happiness and fulfillment. Neat eh?
We'll see how that goes. Obviously, if something shitty happens, it'll end up making another emotionally-laden, tragic album. (As usual).
The Big Three Oh
So, what will I do for my big three-oh birthday you ask?
Honestly, nothing much. As time moves on, I slowly let go of my attachment to holidays and rituals. Birthdays, like Christmas or Easter, has no real significance to me anymore. It's just a day. And yet...
...I still feel the social need for making my 30th birthday into some sort of event. Why? Because that's what everyone else does. Even though I'm not for holidays anymore, I still feel that lingering social pressure to do... "something". And I don't like that. Not one bit.
Which is why I'm not going to do anything.
Take that, unstated social expectations!
The Roaring 30s
And so, with mixed emotions, I ungracefully leave my 20s as of Saturday, February 19th.
Thirty.
Man. That sounds old.
But I don't feel old. I feel as childish as ever.
And I intend on staying that way.
-Niko
