John's Guinness Fastest Guitarist Attempt Video

Our guitarist, John Taylor, has long desired to be the fastest guitarist in the world.

For quite some time, he's been practicing his ass off in the hopes of beating the current record set by Tiego Della Vega who played 'Flight Of The Bumblebee' at 370 beats per minute (Hint: that's fast).

Always being one to embrace competition and pain, John, after killing himself day in and day out, is finally ready to make his bid for fastest guitarist in the world.

Eric, Bryan and I all wish him the best of luck!

Now, check out the video below. It's pretty damn fun!






Niko

All Your Forum Are Belong To Us!

Greetings everyone,

I hope you all enjoyed your holidays. (Actually, to be honest, I don't really hope that, I'm just supposed to say that based on common social tact and etiquette).

Guess what "peeps"? We have a new hang out. In fact, I built it for you. With my own two hands. And you're invited! (Like me, like me?) *Gives puppy dog eyes*

ANNOUNCING THE ENVINITY DISCUSSION FORUMS!

Recently, I've noticed the lack of any place to hang out and talk for our little tribe. Have you noticed?

Sure, I can post (occasionally) on facebook or the blog when I have something to say, but there is no good way for us all to just talk about things we're all interested in, and form a stronger bond for all of us odd, overly-emotional, pseudo-intellectual, sarcastic elitist types.

You know you're one of us. Admitting it is the first step. (There there. Have a tissue).

Obviously we have topics about Envinity, since we're egotistical, hedonistic, and in need of social validation; but we also have a huge open discussion area for topics on film, literature, music, society, relationships and more. ("More"? That could mean anything! How mysterious!)

Sign up (we order you) and help us cement our tribe by posting some interesting discussion topics, and let's make this a worthwhile place to hang out online. (Or else...)

Eh?

EH?????

Damn right.

The Envinity Discussion Forums

Niko

P.S. Your hair looks really nice that way.

SUPER KEEN RADICAL BLACK FRIDAY SALE (not really)

You've seen retailer's advertise discounts of 50%, even upto 75% off products for black friday, right?

Well fuck that. Here's what I'm going to do:

For black friday, Moira's Lake is 100% FREE!!! WHOA!!!

That's right, our epic emotionally-draining mind-fuck of an album costs you nothing!

http://www.envinity.org

….

Okay, perhaps there was some sarcasm above.

You all know that Moira's Lake has always been free, hence the joke.

But….

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...

Remember those projects I hinted that I'd been working on for a while? (See previous blogs).

Well, what if I told you that Moira's Lake would not be free for much longer? Hmm?

*GASP*!

Yep. You heard me. By early next year, there will no longer be a free version of Moira's Lake, so get it while it's still free.

…Or on second thought, wait. I'm really excited for you to finally see what I've been working on. It's ten kinds of awesome. The wait will be worth it.

Enjoy your over-hyped super-commerical spending experiences,

NIKO

P.S. Yes, I exist.

Enjoy The Silence

Really, it's been a whole year all ready? (Yep, "already" is actually two words. Crazy).

Yes indeed, it's been an entire year since we first released little ol' Moira. If anything it just makes me feel that time is increasing in speed. About this same time next year I'll be stuffed into a retirement home yelling at the nurses about the green beans being out to get me. GOD DAMN YOU LINEAR TIME!!!! (crane shot, camera zooms away)

As cool as it would be to have something to present to you exactly one year after release, I don't. Not a god damn thing. (I know, what a buzz kill, right? I'm an ass).

So you may be wondering then, what is going on over here? Stuff? Things? Both? Neither? Both/neither/both? 10010110?

Well, as I said in my last two videos (here and here), I have been working on many things (yes, but what about "stuff"????)

I have to admit, the projects that I'm working on right now are a bit overwhelming at the moment. It seems that they increase in scope every few weeks, requiring me to rethink my approach(es), and incorporate new ideas and content.

Did that sound vague enough for you? Do you want me to be even more elusive with my language as to talk about what I'm working on without actually saying what I'm working on? Sure you do baby. Sure you do.

There's just so many things to work on, think about, plan, and create. But hey, look on the bright side, it'll probably all fail miserably, right?

Point is (finally), I know it can be frustrating when you follow a band, company, or product, and suddenly you don't hear anything from them for a while. It's as if nothing is happening. Or it least it SEEMS like nothing is happening. (Those fucking jerkoffs!)

I understand how the silence looks from an outside perspective, which is why I'm taking time out of my extremely busy schedule of running for U.S. Senate, to tell you that we are going quiet for a reason… a sexy reason (sexiness not valid in UT, CA, OH, and MD).

Generally I don't like to post something if I don't have anything to say, (which I don't), but I thought a break in the silence would be nice, otherwise you'll probably think ENVINITY doesn't care about the true god-fearing, salt-of-the-earth, red-blooded Americans. (Which we don't).

As I hinted at in the videos (remember? The ones I just mentioned a few paragraphs ago? Jesus!), I am working on several projects at once, most of which actually go together as one BIG project (ooohhh…. so vague). The most important thing is that the projects are good, and I'd assume you'd agree with that, and therefore don't expect them this year. Maybe early next year. Who the fuck knows anymore. Just know that I'm working on many, many things. PLEASE know this. Please???

I'll obviously give you more information once everything is close to being ready. Just please remember, when I go silent, it's probably because I'm working on something (and no, it's not the 4th record quite yet. Patience).

Enjoy the silence.

Niko

Waste Hours Of Your Life With These Re-Linked Podcasts

Evenin' folks,

Just a quick testament to my apathy, I've finally re-linked the 3 missing podcast we did last year.

"What missing podcasts?"

After we released Moira's Lake at the end of October 2009, we recorded three hour-plus podcasts talking about the album, how we released it and plenty of less important things that we thought were funny (which you won't).

DA DILLY YO

A few months back, my web host decided to take down all of my media files (yes, including the zip file for Moira's Lake, and all 3 podcasts) without telling me (nice fellows). After someone told me that they were unable to download the album, I quickly found an external hosting solution for Moira, but apparently forgot about the podcasts...

...UNTIL NOW!!!

...Pshhhh... You don't care. It's old news. And I mean OLD news.

Regardless, they are finally back up, so in case you missed them last year, or are simply a masochistic-type personality who loves enduring over 3 hours of non-stop punishment, you'll find them below.

No, still lower.

... A little lower...

There they are. 

Envinity podcast episode #1 (11/30/09 - Niko & Bryan)

Envinity podcast episode #2 (12/16/09 - Niko & Eric)

Envinity podcast episode #3 (01/23/10 - Niko & John)

-NIKO

Video Confessional 17: What The Hell Am I Working On?

Salutations,

This video is the followup to my video last week about getting back in some proverbial saddle (a saddle made of proverbs?).

You can watch the first one below if you haven't already:

Envinity Video Confessional 16: Up And Running Again

Today I continue by telling you a bit about what's going on behind the scenes, what I'm woking on, and when you can expect something from me. (hint: NEVER!!!!!!)

(For a slightly larger video size, click on the title of the video which will let you view this directly on Vimeo.)

See ya,

NIKO

Envinity Video Confessional 17: What The Hell Am I Working On? from Envinity on Vimeo.

Video Confessional 16: Up And Running Again

Oh...

You're still here.

Oooohh... this is awkward.

Well then, might as well put up a video then eh? EH?????

Today I discuss being back in action (as they say). After not being able to work on much creatively for a while, I'm back in the saddle (again, as they say).

I'm also back in black, and back in the high life again. Just to cover my bases.

-NIKO

Envinity Video Confessional 16: Up And Running Again from Envinity on Vimeo.